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04 March 2014

Bitch say what?

I'm 34.

That's tough to say for me sometimes. Mostly because I remember when my own Mom was 34 and I thought she was old as dirt, but also because it IS OLD AS DIRT.

Being in your mid-thirties has a stigma attached to it: We're supposed to be full of class and maturity, exemplary parents with a penchant for lemonade, curling, and cross-stitch and the mini van with the stick figure decals should be parked directly in the 2 car garage beside the mountain bikes and the cat carrier.

Seriously. WHO THE FUCK. DOES.THAT?

Clearly not I.

I think the only thing I do expected of me is raise my kids with a roof over their head, food in their bellies, and love. Love is everywhere. 

So basically what I am trying to tell you here is that I do not relate well to other 34 year old women. Or 33 year olds. Or 32 year olds. Or 25 year olds for that matter.

Because this weekend, some crazy-assed 25 year old (or something close-to) called me an old hag.

AN OLD HAG. 

I probably shouldn't have parked my big fat cellulite-ridden ass in a chair at her table. And I probably shouldn't have flung my grey-streaked hair over my shoulder as I huskily whispered in the ear of the toddler man-child sitting next to her. And maybe I should have tried to cover up my wrinkles a bit better and wore a more supportive bra... but really... she didn't have to be such a bitch.

I was humiliated. And hurt. But most of all I was shocked. What generation is raising their kids to speak to ANYONE like that?

And that my friends, is exactly WHY I'm an old hag. Because instead of taking my fist and rearranging her wrinkle-free face, I thought about her parents and how disadvantaged she must be to have so much hate in her.

That's something my Mom would think. And she's old as dirt.

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Carmen my sweet, you always make me laugh! Fuck 'em I say, clearly she is insecure. I don't give a stuff about being an old hag (and I'm more than a decade older than you with a 30 year old son for god's sake, how did THAT happen??). I'm going to carry on dressing inappropriately and doing what I do regardless. I wonder if the plural of hag is haggis ...

Carmen said...

What. The. Fuck. Your son is 30? Does he like older women? asking for a friend...

Marianna Annadanna said...

Yay 34! I just uhh celebrated? 30. You're not old as dirt. Best thing since sliced bread maybe.

Carmen said...

Obviously :P

(love you)

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