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08 November 2013

An Elephant at the Gym

After my weight loss I sort of stayed 'status quo' and continued my healthy eating. The only exercise I was getting was a few slo-pitch games a week, but that doesn't really count since I was also consuming a drink or two at the same time.

And let's be honest, a few short sprints a game counts for about ZERO cardio.

I lost the weight without a single visit to the gym, and I've maintained the loss without a single visit to the gym, BUT, in order for me to tone those areas that I can't really do anything about with just eating right, I decided it was high time I picked my ass up off the couch and start going to the gym more regularly.

That spare tire around my butt isn't going to change itself. 

I'm one of those women that if I am going to put in the effort to put on cute work out clothes, fill my water bottle and drive the 5 minutes to the gym, I am going to put a shit-ton of effort in while I am there.

1. Because people SEE you. And they MOCK you (foreshadowing).
2. Because there are only 24 usable hours in every day and I'm not wasting any of them.
3. Because I pay for it and I am a cheap motherfucker.

So can you guess what irks me? Can you guess what really tweeks my nerves?

Those ladies that come to the gym in in designer work out gear, not a single hair out of place, make-up carefully applied and set with finishing powder, who use zero weights on the machines and walk almost backwards on the treadmill.

There are times I have had to bite my tongue from saying "Any idea what kind of workout you're getting there?"

True, they're paying for their membership too. True, they're already skinny and toned and beautiful. BUT COME ON... women hate women, it's a fact. So why would you put yourself in a position to be mocked and ridiculed only to look fantastic to a bunch of people who would respect you more if you looked like shit?

Baffles me. 

Once such woman happens to be at the gym almost every time I go. And for some weird reason, she likes to use the treadmill that's the closest to me, whichever one I happen to be using. She's teeny, she's cute, and she's a RIDICULOUS ELEPHANT.


She's 90lbs. I don't have a clue how she makes the noises she does. And I see absolutely no reason for her to lean forward on the machine, set it to mock speed, and jump like a ballerina.

I can't figure out why one of the trainers hasn't approached her (politely) to show her how to properly use the machine.

I give it a month and there will be a "out of order" sign on three or more of the treadmills because she's carried her carnage all over the place.

For me, running is a warm up; a time to get some good tunes going, my heart rate accelerated, and a build up to my weight lifting. 30 minutes of peace isn't a lot to ask for.

However, it does entertain me. And I guess since no one is doing anything about it, I shall continue to giggle, mock, and ridicule her 3 day a week. Because I am a woman, and I hate women.

So. Thank you?


StephanieC said...

Hehehe. I always feel a mix of rage/jealously and admiration for those women.
I am not one of them, though. I sweat like a motherfucker, and that's just me getting into my spandex shorts before I begin.

I guess just enjoy the show? Unless she thinks you're hot and she is trying to lure you in with sexy grunting sounds...

Carmen said...

yup, I'm a sweater too... pretty #&^@#$ attractive, no?

Carmen said...


StephanieC said...

I sweat big ole stains on anything that isn't black and lycra-y. At least the non-cotton isn't as obvious, lol.

thoughtsappear.com said...

I don't understand wearing makeup at the gym. To be fair, I seldom wear makeup even when I'm not at the gym.

Does your gym have teenagers in booty shorts? I want to call their moms to ask if they know I can see their daughter's butt.

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