When Mice Attack. For Reals.

I'm like a Kardashian. Only funny. And Blonde. And less
junk in the trunk. And not-scripted. And less photogenic.
And... well, I'm nothing like a Kardashian. Never mind. 

There will come a time when some TV station will find me, realize I am comedic GOLD, and will pay me to have a camera pointed in my direction at all times. Not because *I* am funny (even when I try people) but because funny shit happens so randomly (and all too often) that I would make millions for CBC or NBC or Lifetime, or whatever, because everyone loves to laugh at those unfortunate.

Which is me. In a nutshell.

A few weeks ago I started noticing a cotton ball-like thing appearing in my glove box every time I left napkins in there. I would remove it, walk it over to the trash bins, and throw it out. I think this happened about 4 times. My coworker said 'sounds like something is trying to build a nest'.

Huh? In my GLOVE BOX? Weird.

Sure, it freaked me out a little, but I just stopped putting napkins in my glove box, and BAM, no more cotton ball.

I should mention though, the cotton ball-like thing that kept appearing was NOT the size of a cotton ball. It was the size of a baseball hat. For the record. 

So last week I left some napkins in the glove box again. And promptly forgot about it. On Friday morning I opened the glove box, and BAM, another baseball hat-size cotton ball-like thing was hanging out.

This time, I was taking this shit to work to show my co-worker because shit was getting spooky.

I did my usual routine, dropped the little man off at daycare and proceeded on my drive. I decided mid-way to pull my phone out of my purse, and as I did so, I adjusted the baseball hat-sized cotton ball-like thing and....

THE MOTHER FUCKER MOVED.

Have you ever had something like that happen while you are driving? Yes? Then you get it. If not, just imagine the worst fear EVER, multiply that by 700, add screaming and a mini-heart attack. And maybe times it again by 1000.

Wish I would have googled "Cotton ball nest" when I first saw it
all those weeks ago. Then I never would have left napkins
in my glove box. Ever. Again. 

And when out crawls a little mouse? Initiate more screaming.

I feel terrible. That poor mouse and his baseball hat-sized cotton ball-like thing was thrown from the truck (I was driving slow!) and his/her new home is someone else's driveway...

But let's be honest here....my safety is more important. Plus, I can't be held responsible for my actions when I am screaming like a fucking idiot. Only fair.